Monday, December 7, 2009

My Mom's Things

Tonight I started going through some boxes of
my Mom's things.
I found notes I had written her when I was small.
I found my baby teeth.
I found all sorts of things that reminded me of her.
I cried when I opened her earrings.
I saw earrings that I bought with her and for her.
I saw a pair of earrings
that she was wearing just a month or two ago.
I told her how much I liked them.
Jokingly, she told me, they'll be yours soon.
I didn't really want them if it meant not
having her.
I found band-aids that she bought that were
latex free. I'm allergic to latex. She never had any
latex free band-aids at her house.
I found a tin full of the mentos that she used to
eat to help her stomach.
She loved putting candy in tins.
I found some pocket date books that she'd kept.
One from last year, this year, and next year.
I read the things she wrote before she was diagnosed
with cancer. Dates and times
she worked, trips up here
to visit. Her trip to watch the kids so
that I could run the Boilermaker.
I read entries for this year, our trip to Joe's
Crab Shack.
Our trip to see Mary Poppins.
As she was getting sicker, her entries were fewer.
Mostly it said "Infusion" for when
she had chemo.
The two things she talked about the most, Joe's
Crab Shack and Mary Poppins were written in those
date books.
Finally, I found a necklace that she always wore
when I was little. It's a Mustard Seed in a glass ball.
I remember playing with it when I was small.
I would ask her, "Mommy, what is that?"
She would explain to me that it
was a mustard seed. She wore it, because the Bible says
that if you have faith like a mustard seed, you can
move mountains.
The last time she wore that necklace was three
weeks before she died.
I'd found it upstairs in her room. I brought it to her, so that
she could wear it. She'd been struggling to keep her
faith at the end. She cried as she held
that tiny seed. She shared that she was trying
to have faith like a mustard seed.
Seeing that necklace, putting it around my neck, and looking
through her things tonight made me miss her so much.
I can't wait to see her again.


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