Another First

We go to the State Fair every summer.
We went before we had kids, and when
the kids came along they joined us at the fair.

My parents went together, with my brother and me if

we were home from college, then with Jon and me.

Mom and Dad really enjoyed bringing their grand kids

to the fair.

They loved all of the excitement the

kids had over EVERYTHING.

They loved sharing the fair with the kids.

Every summer we look forward to the trip to the fair.

Not this summer.

It's not that we didn't look forward to it, it's

just that it was the first time we've gone without

my Mom.

Last year, Mom was getting chemo. She worked her chemo

schedule around the fair.

She really wanted to go.

She warned us that she might get tired, so not to plan

on staying as long as we usually did.

She staid all day.

We didn't' leave until that evening.

We enjoyed all of our favorite things together.

We ate lots of fair food, enjoyed all of the exhibits,

and had fun watching the kids as they rode on

the rides and saw the dog show.

We packed in as much fun as we could. We

all knew that it might be our last trip to the fair,

together. The last time that we would share

the fair food and our "stomach room".

Despite my Mom's health, she never complained. She laughed, smiled,

and enjoyed every minute of that day.

This year, we went back to the State Fair for

the first time without Mom.

This year, we had the boys. I wished so much that Mom was

with us enjoying the time with the two younger boys.

I wished that Mom was there to watch the two older kids

take their first big kid roller coaster ride with Dad.

I wished for just one more chance to share fair food,

see the butter sculpture together, look for

"Sham Wow". I wished she were there to laugh

as The Big K. talked about his candy, Doodles rolled her eyes

at everything, and Baby J. declared is ice cream "Nummy".

I wished she could have seen Dad fall asleep on the

bench. She always said that he could sleep anywhere.

I missed her the whole day. I wished for her the whole day.

Everything reminded me of the times that we went to the fair with her.

The first year is supposed to be the hardest. Next year, it might be easier,

but this year I missed her.