Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Birthday Girl

I met her for the first time when she was five.
I remember what she was wearing, how she was
acting, and what we did.
I remember the night that the case worker called to tell
us about her. She was considered "difficult",
a "challenge", "behavioral".
Words used to describe a child that had been hurt,
betrayed, lied to by adults.
Words to describe someone afraid to love.
I don't know how it feels to hold a baby you've just given
birth to. I do know how it feels to look into the eyes of a child
who has lost hope but dares to hope you'll become a family.
The moment I met her, I loved her. I wanted to get
to know her, care for her, protect her.
I wanted to be her mother.
For four years, I have had the privilege of watching
my daughter grow. I have seen her grow from a
hurt, angry, aggressive child into a kind,
compassionate, loving young lady.
I've held her as she's cried for a family that couldn't
care for her. I've shared the story of how
we came to care for her.
I love her more each and every day. I love her more than
I love my own life.
I would do anything for her.
I look forward to watching her grow into the beautiful
woman of God that she is becoming.
I am thankful that out of all the women in this world,
God chose me to be her Mom. What a gift.
What a responsibility. What a blessing.
Being her Mom is a job that I love,
cherish, and enjoy.
Happy Birthday sweet Doodle Bug. You
have brought me so much joy.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hats For Sale

So, I've been on a bit of a knitting jag lately.
I love to knit, and I've started knitting hats for the kids
this winter.
I found a great pattern that called for hand died wool.
I had to dye the wool with Kool-Aide.
The colors didn't turn out quite as bright as I wanted, so
I started experimenting.
I ended up with lots of hats in lots
of colors.
I've finally found some yarn
and colors that I like.
Unfortunately, I now have LOTS of knit hats.
They're very cute, but I feel a bit
like the hate peddler in the children's book.
You know, the one with all the hats on his head.
He falls asleep, and the monkeys start to take his hats.
I may start walking through the house chanting,
"Hats for Sale".
I think my own sweet little monkeys will enjoy these hats
as much as the monkeys in the book did.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Eleven Years Ago

We first met at the county fair.
We were introduced by mutual friends.
Not on purpose, we all sort of ran into each other.
God knew what He was doing.
Eleven years ago,the night we met, I never would have imagined
my life like this.
I had recently divorced a man that I met at
Bible college. It was a hard and horrible time in my life.
I never thought I would divorce, I never
thought I would date or even marry again.
Then I met Jon. He's everything that I'm not.
He's shy, he's careful, he thinks things through.
I'm chatty, impulsive, spontaneous.
We hit it off right away.
We became fast friends. Before we knew it, we were dating.
Two years later, we were married.
Jon is my best friend. I love him more today than I did yesterday.
I respect him as a husband, father, man.
I am amazed that we met at a fair. I am amazed that
the man the Lord picked out for me was not
from Bible college, he was not
from my church. He was at the fair.
Eleven years ago we met. We talked about
running, we shared fry dough.
I thought he was awfully cute.
He just rolls his eyes when I share that information.
Every year we visit the fair where we met.
We force our children to hear about that night.
We make googly eyes at one another (well, I make the
eyes. Jon endures them).
I can't imagine what my life would have been like without Jon.
I know that God brought us together for a purpose.
As I look into the eyes of our four children, I am thankful that
I went to the fair that night and happened to run into some friends.

Friday, August 20, 2010


I have affectionately called them "Grandma
and Grandpa" since I was in college. They aren't
old enough to be my grandparents.
Less than an hour after my Mom died, Grandma Jean called.
She didn't know Mom had died.
She and Grandpa did what family does.
They came to us. I don't remember a lot
about the day Mom passed, just the pain and the shock.
I do remember Grandma Jean and Grandpa Tom.
I know that God sent them to be with us,
to hold us, cry with us, support us.
I know that God brought them to us, because
He knew what we needed.
I have enjoyed spending time with them again.
I have enjoyed introducing my children and
husband to them.
My Mom was very important to Grandma Jean, and
Jean was important to my Mom. I have loved
being able to see my kids with
people who love and miss my Mom.
Last night, we enjoyed a very fun evening at Jean and Tom's
house. Grandpa Tom took all of the kids out on the
four wheeler. They LOVED those rides.
At breakfast, they were still talking about going
up the hills, seeing deer, eating wild blackberries,
and driving really, really fast.
Although it had been so many years since I had seen Grandma
and Grandpa, they have embraced me, my children, our
family just like they always do, with love, acceptance,
and joy. They have supported me through this season of grief.
They have loved without conditions. I am truly blessed to have
such wonderful people as part of my family
Thank you Grandma and Grandpa. I love you.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Wild Pack Of Boys

My pack of boys who decided to wear
only underwear. This picture doesn't
show it, but they were also covered in magic
Their sweet big sister, who was wearing clothes, and
working hard to civilize this wild pack of boys.
Love my kids.

Friday, August 6, 2010


Thirty-nine weeks after she died, we
went to the Hospice that cared for my Mom
for the last week of her life.
We went to release butterflies, to
think of her, to remember her,
to help the Hospice that helped her.
It was a beautiful time.
An amazing thing to see all of the butterflies,
to see all of the other people who have lost
loved ones. To see all of the people
and families that Hospice has touched.
During the ceremony, there was a group reading
that talked about living life, because in
living your life, your loved one lives on.
My Mom's memory lives on in each of us.
It lives on through the stories we tell.
It lives on through the laughter we share.
Her memory lives on in each and every moment
that we spend together.
"A butterfly counts not months but moments, and has
time enough."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Summer Time Fun

We have all been enjoying a lot
of summer fun.
We've spent time swimming,
and enjoying our summer vacation.
Hard to believe that summer is going
so quickly.
We've enjoyed the county fair,
time together,
and snow cones.
I hope that you are enjoying your summer

as much as we are enjoying ours.